(Click title of post to download the song)
Read Mark 2:15-17 before listening. I will post a good translation in the comments section as the first comment for those of you who are without your bible at the present time.
Train Wreck
Verse 1:
I remember they said you were all quite pleasant
You some inarticulate innocuous presence
You were as genteel as a sleepy Sunday Drive
I remember no comfort in those stories they told,
In the lies they tied in their perfect collared folds
In the ruby studded links that put their hands in cuffs
Chorus:
Cause you're the coal burning
You're the slow churning
You're the blind siding
The Life unwinding
You're the twisted metal in the train wreck of your love
Verse 2:
And they took me to task and the task was too great
So I fell from their ranks and I gained their disgrace
But they clung to their stories and sinched their knots up tight
And you watched them all choking and you watched them all die
You wrecklessly came like the thorn in my side
And you mangled my models and melted my iron-clad faith
Chorus:
Cause you're the coal burning
You're the slow churning
You're the blind siding
The Life unwinding
You're the twisted metal in the train wreck of your love
You're the smell of the sulfer
You're the wreckage perfume
You're the green house gas in the chemical plume
You're the twisted metal in the train wreck of your love
Bridge:
And their necks crained from their silken noose
And they watched from their white washed tombs
And they scoffed the tragic imprint of
A life wrecked love
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
25 comments:
Mark 2:15-17 (New English)
When Jesus was at table in his house, many bad characters--tax-gatherers and others--were seated with him and his disciples; for there were many who followed him. Some doctros of the law who were Pharisees noticed him eating in this bad company, and said to his disciples, "He eats with tax-gatherers and sinnders!" Jesus heard it and said to them, "It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick; I did not come to invite virtuous people, but sinners."
How about "you mangled my mind." Models sounds a bit overly theoretical. Your mind produces models anyway.
So the true question is where do you want to go with this song. This song needs to be a bit aggressive in it's instrumentation. Even if you mimic a kind of hollow chorded "clang" I think that would help. I'm thinking of a repetitive harmony that wont quite resolve. This is also a song for the people. John Lennon's "Working Man Hero" comes to mind.
Ultimately, I'm curious to know where you are going on a cognitive level. The "you" of the song I find interesting. I'll come back later.....
you are a jerk, first off....
you're song writing ability makes me look like a 3rd grader with a second grade vocabulary making a first draft report on a subject that i have no first hand knowledge of. thanks a lot.
Second,
you know i like this song. I like it how it is now, lyrically.
i'm still hung up on the bridge. One thought would be that before you begin singing it, you run down the bridge riff once and then begin it. This may fill in the gaps in my head for those pesky chords that i still can't hear very well. Earlier recordings sounded like you were just messing up underneath your singing. Ha.
Now i can sort of hear them, but they trail off just the same.
Also, regarding the last chorus, i think you can put more emotion in here. I don't know if i would use the word "aggressive", but i think building it would be good; then you could come in strong on the
yeah, yeah, yeah's" and bring it back down for the end.
I love the idea of facing the reality that God is right in there in the crap of our lives. I say crap, meaning essentially that we consider it to be crap merely because we may be suffering and any sort of suffering must be bad right? hmm.
Also, from another angle, when we meet God, i mean really meet him, it can wreck our lives. What our life looks like sounds like, and smells like is as different as a heap of is from it's original form, the form before the train-wreck.
as different as a heap of METAL, is from it's orignial form, i mean.
A little pitchy dawg!
Just kidding. I think it's great. A person with my (lack of) musical talent is in no position to critique. I think you strain a little when you sing though. It almost doesn't even sound like you.
Overall, I say good work.
Seth, I am pleasantly amazed at your incredible song writing skills! Awesomely done.
Cindy
Awesome, man! There's my two word comment, which I know is not allowed...
I could hear this being popular on the radio today. Sounds like a demo version of something that would or should be much more instrumental, and that's as far as I can go with that. Unfortunately, I'm not musically astute enough to offer any real suggestions besides it needs more...
On a concept basis, I think it's a little confusing as to whether this is a christian song or not (based on the lyrics alone). This would be one of those types of songs I would hear on secular stations by a crossover band. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing though.
Can you give a 15-word or less description of the main message from your own perspective?
Yes, I can, Carli. And I will. For both you and Kyle and others. However, it will be longer than 15 words, and it will not be posted until the 16th. Until that time, everyone let me know what it means to them. You can either say (a) how, and whether it speaks to you, or (b) what it means to you. You may view it in a secular light or spiritual, whatever.
Brock cannot answer because he has heard the explanation. In fact, he once tried to get me to change it all up (which I might still). So he is out until after the explanation at which point he can muse about how it requires changing. Should be an interesting discussion.
Craig, you are hereby dubbed the Randy of this website. Your wife, the Paula. Sorry dawg. Next month I'll try to tighten it up and really bring it for the dawg pound. I was really trying to go for the emotive effect on the bridge, doesn't work? You guys let me know and I'll make a change or two.
Love the imagery in these lyrics. As I was listening, I was thinking that maybe it would be cool to have a counter melody playing in the chorus the second time, something with some dissonance to musically illustrate the contrast between the God of train wrecks vs. the God of the sleepy pew warmers/hypocrites. And maybe that could really be brought to some sort of dissonant climax in the bridge, like the actual train wrecking or noose tightening. I don't know, maybe too gimicky of an idea?
I love the song and have to catch myself to not be too judgemental about the white washed tomb people. I seriously get turned off by them and the type of "church" they represent, but can be guilty of the same sin.
for the record, i don't like the idea of being stricken from commenting.
with that said, i change my mind.
i think the whole thing should be changed now. it needs to be sung by a woman and in a higher key with some instrument you can't play like a hohner melodica or somesuch.
For the content: I know He is not all quite pleasant, but I think I know also that He is not a train wreck, entirely. After every die to self, we are not left in wreckage. I mean it's hard to call an experience with His love the actual wreck.
Cliche, but a friend today told me that when in a storm, your boat will crash if you keep your eyes on the storm - rather than the sovereign God of the storm. I think she heard Max Lucado say this in a sermon. I guess a question here is whether or not you believe that God is sovereign over the storm.
This is what I see as the music video from reading the lyrics:
A man dressed to a tee, leaves an office / church of other similarly suited empty smiling latte drinkers, and all in very slow motion, he wrecks, and everything completely rips apart.
The part of the song that is missing is what happens after. Does the man get out of the wreck and run off naked? Does the resolve still have smoke rising up from it? It may not still be perfectly suited, but does it end a chemical plume?
Who is in need of a doctor? And once healed, who is most grateful to the doctor? The one whose minor thumb laceration was stitched up (yes, that would be me), or the patient who received a successful kidney transplant?
Throughout my life, I have had the privilege to know a few—I reiterate, a few—whom I regarded as actually living God. It is a sort of awkward phenomenon that makes me aware that my spirituality is lacking. The commonality of these individuals? For the most part they have experienced some sort of profound wreck in their life. Something that those in the common church houses would label "extreme sin" (Gasp!). However, through their stumble they have found humility, and somehow, God. I mean REALLY found God.
Interesting to me. The result is so right that I wonder whether God is in the wreck. Or more importantly, maybe he is the wreck. Might God allow extreme failure to bring us to him? Before you all start jumping on me, I am not saying that God causes sin. Just consider the previous position. Maybe, Sarah, considering this view keeps us from becoming whitewashed. Maybe it reminds us that the failure in someone’s life might be the very thing that redeems them.
And maybe, when we fail... hmmm...
I say if it takes a total train wreck to bring me to Him,then so be it. However, i hope is doesn't. I think, for some, they need a smack in the face or an upper-cut to the nose to find God. For others, they need only to look at the things around them. Regardless, once we are found, by the end of our lives, we look much different than when we first found Him, you could say as different as a piece of twisted metal.
Seth,
To further amplify the echo, your song writing is your strongest asset. Far and away one of the most interesting lyrics I have heard sung in quite sometime.
When I first heard the music I could feel a very coldplayesque song coming on which I like very much. Consequently, I think this song will be greatly improved by an accompanying piano or even an electric guitar and a drum kit. I also hear the song building a bit more than it does. I agree with the baker about the second chorus. I think the overall feel of a slow and deliberate creshindo would lend itself to a natural climax at the second chorus. Once again to reference a coldplay song, think "fix you" not "clocks". I get the feeling that the bridge is more of an artistic display of want not need. by this I mean the song really stands strong without the addition a bridge. consequently I felt it was a little trite and was added to the song simply because you felt like you had to have a bridge or wanted to show off some of your guitar skills or something along those lines. If you are looking for variation here, I could feel some type of solo or musical instrumentation.
The vocals caught my attention and immediately changed my expectations for the song. Your vocals, which I really like, feel a bit too dashboard confessional or indy even, for such a clean song. The vocals also seem to lack a bit of emotion and almost come across monotone. Toward the end of the chorus, it seemed out of place to draw out the word "love". I would make this a more staccato phrasing. You also seem to push the pitch toward the end of the song in general by adding emphasis to certain words. Consequently the end of the song feels much looser.
Overall, the song is very good. I hope this stimulates some thought and is possibly even helpful. I love what you guys are doing here. Keep up the good tunes.
Thanks, Brandon. Great comments. I like the idea about the "love" line. I'll try to work on that and will also work through some of the other comments. Maybe I'll repost this in a few months to see where it has gone.
Thanks again for your comments. Keep 'em coming.
Seth, I've already shared my bit about this song with you, but I'll add an abbreviated version here for the rest of us.
It's a profound thought that not only is God in a train wreck, but He is the very train that he wrecks. "Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal's death on a cross." I believe this truth is too big for us to ever fully understand - there is always more here to unwrap and explore.
I loved that, Josh.
This song haunts me. It bleeds honesty. It is most powerful because it reveals the paradox of resurrection.
I have been quite pleasant in the prime of my life. I have known the innocuous presence of material success, degenerated dreams and institutionalized religion. My Sunday drive has been long, unfulfilling and silently destructive.
I suspect that I am not alone.
My life now is a train wreck. I beg for a place at the table described by the butcher in the first post. I thirst for authentic redemption. I embrace the love of a saviour who exists when his existence is unimaginable.
A wonderful man writes and sings this song. But his maker has deemed it a ministry.
I am proof.
The point of your comment is, however, that you are left longing for God. Longing for God seems to be where we need to be. There are those who put on their cuff links and look the part, but don't long for God. There are those who dismissively go about their jaded and sarcastic lives giving God the proverbial finger. Then there are those who genuinely long for "a place at the table." Whether it is by wreckage, or by the gentle prodding of God, I want to be in the latter of the 3 categories, Deacon. I'll take your spot now well before I'll cinch up my tie.
i love the "iron-clad faith" line. it's the defenseless that get sick and need doctors; but those that are knowingly, guiltily SO sick, and in such need of macroscopic surgery, but build up an exoskeleton in showy "okay"ness, really need train wrecks.
i agree with the thoughts on instrumentation. definitely would benefit from some filling out and building up. it's great how the strum pattern is so train-like, rhythmic and regular, and the chords are melodic.. until the bridge comes like a jerky collision with higher and stranger sounds.
i also agree with the thought on an instrumental bridge before you come in with the vocals; i think the gap between hearing words would add to the effect of the bridge lyrics. then, maybe, you could leave out the part about fumes when you go back to the chorus. i think the first part is a more lasting depiction of a train wreck.
very impressive!
So tonight, Graber asks me... Well I'll let him say what he asked me.
Needless to say, it echos many of the comment you guys have been making. So, I think I want to rerecord with Graber's assistance (you in, man)? I'll repost in the next few months so keep looking.
Melody, great thoughts. It is interesting how you distinguish between the kind of love the defenseless need and the kind that the pious, "religious" need. I think I agree, for the most part. It seems that when I am the most proud, arrogant, and self-confident, God allows the wrecks that pull me back into humility. The "macroscopic surgery" you are talking about. It makes me think that maybe we should find ourselves in the fields of the defenseless more often. Maybe if we live life with them (if we live humility with them), we will be less likely to experience the train wreck. I don't know, what do you guys think?
Favorite part-the chorus. It speaks of God's consistency. He churns. Steadily. Patiently. He does catch me off guard...when I'm awake enough to notice. He is The Life unwinding. I long to be in a place where He is all that I want to wind down with. The train wreck of His love. His furious pursuit of His children. He's always there! Consistent. Maybe it's in those moments of nearness, or maybe it's in the middle of "the train wreck". He's there. I, too, lack the skeelz to properly critique vocals, instrumentation etc., nontheless, I comment. My least favorite part is the bridge. Lyrics are sound but the bridge seems misplaced, although it technically may not be? The building at the end wants to occur earlier in the song, to me. Grain of salt. - Nate
My not-so-spiritual comment. Love the perfect tuning on the guitar. NOT pitchy at all. I love that crystal sound when it's in tune.
I agree with the comments about the need for the emotion, instrumentation to build. I want to FEEL the building, burning, wrecking, wrenching as opposed to the slow melodic suicide of the self satisfied and self blinded, us. We have violently oppressed the truth in us and around us, often only violence breaks us free.
Post a Comment