Too young to read, I scanned heiroglyphic
Boxtops like church signs in ancient Egypt.
Striped tiger, enthroned on deep blue, a rain god
Who buried grreat treasure in his toy crypt.
The fire god - rainbow-beaked toucan - bid his
Loopies hallow him as "Sam." Golden crisped
Sun-god bear wafts sugary sweet puffs
Of incense through wired worshippers' piss.
But, I learned: Trix rabbit ain't no trickster,
Count Chocula no negro vamp. Franken
Berry did not transgender, and Fred's bright
Pebbles ain't Flinstone fruit poop a-stankin'.
Too old to believe boxtop gods are real,
I left Old Egypt for modern oatmeal.
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7 comments:
this is fantastic. it reminds me of Billy Collins, or maybe Billy Collins reminds me of you.
this is effing genius.
I can't even believe my eyeballs. Only you and your amazing titles could pull off a rhyming cereal sonnet.
So, hum, is the speaker trying to say that little-g gods are way more fun, and the holier rolling-oat big-G God is desert bland?
I don't know what I just said, but this poem tastes like Kix.
This is amazing to me. I love it and never envisioned such solid shot at "cereal" poetry.
It is true that we learn to leave the milk behind for more substantive meat. Growing up comes with disillusionment, sure, but the guts developed in the process are thankful. Thank you oatmeal.
I do need some help with the Frankenberry reference. Transgender? I'm a bit dim here...
Help me out.
i don't eat oatmeal.never have.
i enjoy cereal, but mostly at night. Too often my tummy hurts early in the morning and so i skip breakfast altogether, which is unhealthy of course, but it beats feeling like i am going to vomit while on my way to work in the morning.
My favorite part was where you put
'Grreat'.
i too am impressed with a cereal poem.
maybe you can be the person that takes requests and writes about any topic that people want. It's sort of like taking requests at a rock concert except with less noise and sweat.
guilders - you are kind. like i said in the email, cereal was my great luxury as a child. i could fly through two to three boxes in no time flat. so my mom pushed it down my throat. figured it was better for me than mickey d's - which i shared equal passion for.
seth - i remember being six years old and thinking that luke skywalker was a total wuss in the first two star wars movies - all whiney and pouty. (of course, luke totally redeemed himself at the beginning of RETURN OF THE JEDI). then i also noticed that this frankenberry dude was pink. and he had strawberry painted fingernails. just look at this link:
http://theswca.com/images-food/boxes/frankenberry-ca-250-f.jpg
i remember thinking that frankenberry was so girly for a monster. my mother tried a few times to buy frankenberry for me, but i refused. it was a girl cereal. at least, it was a dude looks like a lady cereal. thus, the transgender line.
i think i finally got around to eating some frankenberry at a friend's house and thinking it was the bomb. still, i couldn't be seen buying it in the store. i mean, he has frickin' strawberry fingernails for john eldredge's sake!
hahahahhahhhah
john eldredge.
yes,
i think that man up and got some personal problems, like he got picked on in first hour weights class or someone called him a momma's boy.
This just made me want to go buy and eat a whole box of Fruity Pebbles.
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